This is who I really am.
Where I've been. What I've been doing.
It's all just me. 
Maybe I can get my seeds back and start being a regular person again. 
Maybe I can stop floating around in the abyss and get my life figured out.
I make no promises.
They started leaving a bitter taste behind.

A Dream Sequence

       A Beautiful Breakdown. A Beautiful Lie.
The fairytale. The happily ever after.

Dreaming Moonlight

Life is a funny thing.
We are now in the post-break-up-dance. We live. We survive. We move on. We pick up the pieces, trying ohsohard to rebuild ourselves.
A reoccurring theme in my life: so where do we go from here...
I've never been happier with a choice I've made on that front. It's terribly suiting and helps me through the day. But only sometimes; only some days.
Mind-numbing substances are what get me through the day to day life.
Making the world disappear - one drink at a time.
I walk through the rain and the moonlight to find that I am only alone, alone and lost. Confused and lost. Alone, and confused.
I walk through the moon only to find the rain pouring down on me. Drenching my every bone.
Everyone else runs for cover, but I - I embrace it with open fucking arms. My eyes - full of the love I once had. Trickles down the back of a man who never knew the worth.
Of gold or a sweater.
This dance, this song, these words. What have they become?
Disillusioned nothingness. Escaping the bonds that tie us. Only to find more bonds.
That tie only me. To beds in a motel room. To the nonstop shower of doubt.
That pit in my stomach that screams: let me live.
We do this dance. Dancing this dance with music we don't know the words to.
In a language so foreign to us, we forget the moves.
Moving on, moving out. But where is the step up?
Darkening clouds blinding my eyes, burning into me.
And I don't even know what to say anymore.
And I don't even know where to stay anymore.
And I don't even know...